My dear sister Sandy passed away on Thursday, March 25 at about 8:30 PM. She fought a very long and courageous battle against a recurrence of breast cancer for the last 3 years. She was my oldest sister and life was not always easy for her. I hope that now she can find the peace and comfort that evaded her in life. Rest in peace, my dear sweet sister. The following are lyrics to "This Is Not Goodbye" by Melissa Etheridge. I think of Sandy when I hear this song, so this is in tribute to her:
This Is Not Goodbye
By Melissa Etheridge
Bravely you let go of my hand
I can’t speak yet you understand
Where I go now, I go alone
This path I walk, these days of stone.
And the angels are calling…
(Chorus)
I must go away
Wait for me here, silently stay
And don’t ask me why
Only believe this is not goodbye
All of my strength, all my desire
Still cannot melt this breath of fire
I go to meet some kind of test
Bury the truth that scars my chest
And the angels are calling and calling…
(Chorus)
I gathered all my courage
I shaved off all my fear
With this banner on my shoulder
I hold your essence near
And the angels are calling and calling and calling…
(Chorus)
Only believe this is not goodbye
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Stress & Eating
Since my last post, life has become even more stressful. My sister Sandy is still in the hospital and she's been told she has about 4 weeks left here on earth. This is emotionally stressful to all of us and the days have been exhausting for me as well. I can't even imagine how she feels and what this is doing to her emotionally (physically we can see the changes). We prepared her home yesterday for home hospice and today she will be transported via ambulance to her home to begin her journey to her "real" home with Jesus.
My old ways of coping (ie: eating) are coming through. I know that I'm not eating what I should or as timely as I should. I am eating a lot of junk and skipping meals or eating them very late and very irregular. I know in my heart that this will not make me feel better in the long run, but at the moment it makes me feel good to just eat JUNK. Crazy!
Today I am taking somewhat of 'day off' and having lunch with friends. Not going to the hospital unless something changes. My two other sisters will be greeting Sandy at home when she arrives. I will probably go over after my lunch to see if they need anything.
It's been a very rough couple of weeks. I pray that Sandy will find comfort and peace and that if this is her time, it will come quickly and with no complications. Please pray for her. Thanks!
My old ways of coping (ie: eating) are coming through. I know that I'm not eating what I should or as timely as I should. I am eating a lot of junk and skipping meals or eating them very late and very irregular. I know in my heart that this will not make me feel better in the long run, but at the moment it makes me feel good to just eat JUNK. Crazy!
Today I am taking somewhat of 'day off' and having lunch with friends. Not going to the hospital unless something changes. My two other sisters will be greeting Sandy at home when she arrives. I will probably go over after my lunch to see if they need anything.
It's been a very rough couple of weeks. I pray that Sandy will find comfort and peace and that if this is her time, it will come quickly and with no complications. Please pray for her. Thanks!
Monday, March 8, 2010
One of those weeks..
Ever have one of those weeks where some things were just so great that you wanted to dance for joy out in the streets? But there were other things that were so awful you wanted to curl up into a ball and cry?! Well, that was my week last week!
Started out with a very pleasant shopping day with my sister Trish on Sunday. We had fun and I found the special chocolate tea I had been looking for. We also found a couple of fun new stores that we didn't even know existed! However, when I got home I heard that my sister Sandy was having a major melt-down. Good thing for family, others were able to reach her and calm her down somewhat.
Monday and Tuesday I accompanied my sister Sandy to her appointments to have fluid drained off her lungs. While this is in no way fun for either one of us, it does give us some time to talk to each other more. This was important to me since she had just had the melt-down over the weekend.
Then I found out that "my" Anthony (my trainer) had been fired! Him being fired would have been bad enough, but I found out that his manager had used my sisters name "in error" and unprofessionally in her little speech to fire him!! This triggered both of us (my sister Trish & I) to deliver a 'one-two' punch to said manager on Wednesday morning (after rehearsing Tuesday night). The woman was a monster! The good part of this is that we both got what we fought for - Trish was reimbursed for her remaining sessions and cancelled her membership, I was able to transfer my remaining sessions to a closer gym.
Had a lovely dinner with some former co-workers/friends on Thursday night. It was great to see everyone and talk about what's been going on in our lives. Some are still working and of those who were laid off, none of us have found work, but we all seem to be hanging in there.
Friday I accompanied my sister Sandy to her doctor's appointment and sat with her through her chemo treatment (first time for me). The doctor gave a little more background as to why he thinks her legs and lungs are filling with fluid so quickly. This was good as I have many questions and concerns, as does Sandy.
Saturday was another great relaxing day. I attended a luncheon theater production with three of my closest, long-time friends! The play was wonderful, funny and very touching at the same time. The food was OK, but the company was delightful.
Sunday again delivered a blow! Sandy wasn't feeling well all day Saturday and so she ended up being admitted to the hospital on Sunday. I brought her there and eventually all of our sisters and a couple nieces were there, too. One great thing about our family, we are THERE for each other! They ran a bunch of tests and are still determining what is the ultimate cause and what they can do to make her comfortable.
After spending the day at the hospital, I came home to get some things done around here (laundry, dishes, etc) and watch the Oscars. I have only seen about 5 of the movies that were nominated, but some of my favorites were awarded (Precious, Blind Side and UP!). I managed to watch the whole show! It was a much needed relaxing evening.
Not sure what this week ahead will hold. I know there are a few happy surprises in store! Probably a few disappointments, too, but I do know that I will get through it!! God is with me and I have the love of a great family behind me!!
Started out with a very pleasant shopping day with my sister Trish on Sunday. We had fun and I found the special chocolate tea I had been looking for. We also found a couple of fun new stores that we didn't even know existed! However, when I got home I heard that my sister Sandy was having a major melt-down. Good thing for family, others were able to reach her and calm her down somewhat.
Monday and Tuesday I accompanied my sister Sandy to her appointments to have fluid drained off her lungs. While this is in no way fun for either one of us, it does give us some time to talk to each other more. This was important to me since she had just had the melt-down over the weekend.
Then I found out that "my" Anthony (my trainer) had been fired! Him being fired would have been bad enough, but I found out that his manager had used my sisters name "in error" and unprofessionally in her little speech to fire him!! This triggered both of us (my sister Trish & I) to deliver a 'one-two' punch to said manager on Wednesday morning (after rehearsing Tuesday night). The woman was a monster! The good part of this is that we both got what we fought for - Trish was reimbursed for her remaining sessions and cancelled her membership, I was able to transfer my remaining sessions to a closer gym.
Had a lovely dinner with some former co-workers/friends on Thursday night. It was great to see everyone and talk about what's been going on in our lives. Some are still working and of those who were laid off, none of us have found work, but we all seem to be hanging in there.
Friday I accompanied my sister Sandy to her doctor's appointment and sat with her through her chemo treatment (first time for me). The doctor gave a little more background as to why he thinks her legs and lungs are filling with fluid so quickly. This was good as I have many questions and concerns, as does Sandy.
Saturday was another great relaxing day. I attended a luncheon theater production with three of my closest, long-time friends! The play was wonderful, funny and very touching at the same time. The food was OK, but the company was delightful.
Sunday again delivered a blow! Sandy wasn't feeling well all day Saturday and so she ended up being admitted to the hospital on Sunday. I brought her there and eventually all of our sisters and a couple nieces were there, too. One great thing about our family, we are THERE for each other! They ran a bunch of tests and are still determining what is the ultimate cause and what they can do to make her comfortable.
After spending the day at the hospital, I came home to get some things done around here (laundry, dishes, etc) and watch the Oscars. I have only seen about 5 of the movies that were nominated, but some of my favorites were awarded (Precious, Blind Side and UP!). I managed to watch the whole show! It was a much needed relaxing evening.
Not sure what this week ahead will hold. I know there are a few happy surprises in store! Probably a few disappointments, too, but I do know that I will get through it!! God is with me and I have the love of a great family behind me!!
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